Saturday, November 10, 2012

America

Why do Asians try to undo other Asians with European or American heritage?

Unacceptable

Why do you accept what other people post online so much?

Look

If you want attention for all the shit you figure out, post it online!  :0

Race

I realized Europe is all waiting for "Americans" to accept the European culture.

The Discovery of America

Why are integrated cultures so American?  Chinese-Indonesia was established before America.

Fashion

So, I noticed it looks like the white jacket in Europe that's not being sold, anymore.  In Czech and Poland and in brown in the U.K.

Fashion

So, my mom's mom has been a tailor all her life, I think didn't go past like 5th grade.

Anyway, I liked art and I drew clothes, though I was never very good at getting detailed and haven't done it much.  I have a control over drawing it from past experience like blocked in.

So, I was looking at this jacket and realized that the white one looked fluffier, even with the indents.  8|

link

Face the Facts

What about looking for facts that physically aren't there?

Post in G

Christina Barrett: Americans

christina-fl86.blogspot.com/2012/10/americans.html
Oct 20, 2012 – ... annoyed at people in Europe with an American father and a European mom, for some reason, people in the U.S. with a non-American dad, ...

French-Americans

I saw my teacher's daughter.  I know she was American but was all or mostly or very French.  Her daughter seemed to have a nice life but wasn't as European as her mom.  I wouldn't want to be her.

Disturbed

What about the shitty girls with light brown hair with a thin, hippy dad with light brown hair and a Middle Eastern mom?  I know they can have brunette siblings.  They're not usually very thin|slick.

Disturbed

I saw a guy on TV with a Welsh mom and a Dutch-American dad.  He seemed like stone with a big head.

Americans

Oh, I forgot.  I know that there are adults here with parents from Italy.  I'm not sure what's going on, but I do live in America.  I guess their mom moved to the U.S..

I didn't find Eurasians to be very European.  They're kinda pissy.

Oh, I forgot, Lily Rose is part black.

French

I guess that Germans and English need to take French.

My life changed getting good teachers who were French.  I had a good American History AP teacher like that who opened up in that class.  I had her my first year in a very easy class 2nd semester.  She was out on maternity leave..  It was supposed to be a Gifted class.  Then, my Theater teacher from New Orleans, who went to a Catholic school and had a Masters, had a French last name, Talented Theater and Drama Club.  She seemed really into things like Tim Burton.  It's too bad things haven't been working out.  She reminds me of Orla Fallon, who will have a baby in January I think.  Her last name originally was Carron, which is French and from Normandy, ethnically, not the Norman invaders from Norway and|or Denmark.

Johnny Depp

I found Johnny Depp in a way not to be friendly but to be a bit sacrificial..

Europe

I notice with me people act like my mom doesn't deserve European culture being from out-of-the-U.S.  How can you exchange with each other and not like extend to other places?  It's something that people do.  I guess England is a bit more friendly, like those explorers in like Africa.

Race

Are you on my program?

I'm feeling what it's like to be a better person, like I guess becoming more familiarized with my mom's traits.

Chinese-Indonesian

I guess my mom is a pretty good person for a Chinese-Indonesian, and I've been sorta bickered at my whole life for it.

Non-Europeans

I just realized that people who have a significant amount of non-white blood and have a parent who is from America won't be treated as well in the U.S., though they will be treated better than most others, made to feel very comfortable.  :S

Mistreated

It seems that people are making fun of me for being mistreated, like I'm like how everyone else used to be, just because of the n word thing.

Video Games

I never really played a lot of them.

I'm wondering about the old video games and the more advanced, elaborate ones today.

I know you can have some pretty hard ones.

Caring

I don't know why people are so caring to me.  They do seem more refined.

Fan

I'm asking my dad to get a really loud fan to block out noise again.  My last 2 broke.  I'm hot but guess I'll wait until the spring to get a fan to blow on me.

Feeling Bad

I keep feeling like I need to go to the restroom, pee.  It's not in a really bad way.  It feels like I'm being punished for not getting up.

Bothered

Something that's been weighting on my mind was on an old website, which I think I took down, that I paid for that is still up for some reason, that I saw a picture of a tall, thin black lady with a laptop 2-3 weeks ago, kinda big and rectangle but kinda square on the top right of my computer.  She seemed kinda like stone.  I kept getting haunted about that being Ellen DeGeneres with a deep voice in a disgusting kinda and bad way.  She had just left for Washington, D.C., to get an award.  I still have to watch that.  I missed it on TV because I even missed Halloween.  I was haunted a lot for a long time.  It was one of the first two things in that section of my website, an updated section.

The North?

It was my understanding that people from New York and Pennsylvania are disliked.

Being Close

It's like you can't get close to anyone other than your mom or people where she's from.

The South

I wonder why people from the South like Chloe Moretz act so impressed against you about people like Ellen DeGeneres?

Comfort

I found that Europeans want to be comfortable.

The U.S.

Howcome people who are from out-of-the-U.S. always seem like they're right, like nothing is iffy?  I don't have to be like everyone else in the U.S. just because I'm American.

Race

I noticed because of my race I'm being encouraged to be ways I don't want to be, even if my ancestors weren't like that.  My ancestors were pretty high in "the" food chain.  '}:{

I'm gonna get you!

Okay, so I'm gonna get the world and I'm very aware the U.S. that doesn't include certain places in the north, other than New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, where I have people I know more from.

STOP

PEOPLE LIKE JOHNNY DEPP, TIM BURTON, ELLEN DEGENERES.  I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR SPREADING THE POPULARITY OF MY FATHER.  THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW JUST ANYONE BECAUSE OF WHO THEY'RE RELATED TO.

Sup

Okay, so, I'm being fed what to think I think by my dad and I'm really mad and want it to stop.  Why doesn't anyone care about me like that who knows me?  It's like they're smiling at me evilly.

So, just because I did something that was weird and considered wrong but avoided being directly addressed for so long, other people are suffering and being made to feel more perverted, like suggestive about getting attention over other people and stuff.  :|

Bothered

Different things are bothering me now.  I'm feeling kinda weighted, groggy, and simply not cool enough.  It's not really toasty to me, neither.  It's too like humid yet dry and stuffy, hot, dry, stuffy, and thick yet not substantial.

Well, I know I'm upset people think just because I mess up that my life is supposed to totally change.  I know people have been slighty with me and don't seem to suffer for it, don't really get treated how I get treated.

I don't remember, but I had something important to say about my dad.  I know I'm worried he'll barge in and do something, somehow.

Oh yea, I'm mad that around him I keep constantly getting these messages.  I really don't get his problem.  This simply is not allowed.  I know it's because I'm half Chinese.

Also, I really get screwed up about Americans screwing up people in Europe or England, in particular.  Why do they say that they have a base culture over them?  That seems entirely untrue, unless Americans are old-fashioned, I just realized.  How interesting.  I wish I could think of more things like that, but I guess my life has been ruined.  Not sure what to do.  I feel stuffy and stuff and like I'm gonna die and cease to exist, for some reason.  I used to feel I could live forever.

Also, I didn't go to the bathroom the 3rd or 2nd time I woke up, and now I feel kinda like a balloon.

Uncomfortable

I keep hearing these weird noises with my ear plugs on, with the noisemaker or vent on, too.

Like, even at critical moments, I feel slighted.

It's probably my dad.

They're like bloats and clicks.  They sound other worldly, like I'm not really hearing them.

Also, the temperature is really stuffy and dry, though it's cold and breezy outside.

Irritation

I'm irritated.

One of my ear plugs was wet.  My glasses seem okay but unwashed.

My face is feeling manufactured.

My legs were swirling while I was running last night and now had knots in them, which I haven't had.  It felt like it was pushing chronic but didn't hurt too much though was a bit tied up.  My eyes have a feeling of like warm fuzz but not in a cute way though not like disgusting nor anything, hoping that's not a strong literal possibility for anyone.

Just Finished Eating

Breakfast - 4 slices of French Toast
7 pieces of flavored bacon

Lunch
pork with spice
organic zuccini (came wrapped up) and mushrooms cooked with spice
old mac and cheese (I like the new Chef Boyardee in a can)

I guess I'll have dessert, later.

Based on Me

People are ruining others's lives chronically based on me!  :0

Revolver

I just realized the world is creatively revolving around the fact that I shouldn't exist.

Scenery

I find that art is made more for the background.

Risks

Some people are pretty risky and think they control everything.

Disney

I wonder why my dad doesn't become a project manager at Disney in Orlando.

Sea World

I almost was interviewed for a job in education at Sea World when I moved here and came home from college in late 2006.

Child (Care) Work

It was a big thing when someone very prestigious in Slidell said they didn't know if they wanted to be a child nurse or a senior citizen nurse.  I guess I don't get the part about a "senior citizen nurse."

Warm

I think I was warm at the mall, yesterday, even at night after I left.

Plans for the Day

Maybe, I shouldn't even go anywhere today.  I did my nails.  I can go for a walk in my old walking shoes (which are very thick and rounded like a rocker) and wear one of my nice coats.  I have some soup.  I can make more turkey and cut up some vegetable, think I got an organic zucchini, just ate a bunch of greens.

It's a nice day for a walk.

Excitement

It seems that people in my class were excited to have older moms.

Breakfast

I should have had breakfast.  I actually have been having abdominal pains.  My dad might go somewhere this morning but maybe not.  Maybe, I should go eat soon but am still a bit groggy on the inside, in a sense.

Att-ention!

I don't really see the use in saying it's always polite to talk about not wanting attention when you're always getting it.

Ellen

Just because Ellen DeGeneres is rich and successful, as a talk show host owning her own show, she thinks she can just rally up whatever's most daring.

Food

I guess there are some people out there who eat like gourmet food or maybe like good chicken and dumplings, maybe some good source of bread like at restaurants.

Surprises

I notice people from the bulk of the country that doesn't include the midwest and NYC nor people who move to places like NYC and LA like to hurt you and then later you peel away the true joke.  Sometimes, they really mean it, I think, people from like Pennsylvania.  You never knew they were dangerous.

I didn't grow up in the midwest, and I tend to not realize the surprise.  I guess a lot of people in Europe are like that.

Jacket

Here's a jacket from last year that was sold in like Czech and Poland and I know in brown in the U.K.: link.

Xmas List

I asked my mom for the 2nd white coat and this: link.

Meanie

My mom's been mean to me lately, too.  I mean, she does it on the side sorta, like a flare, a private message, somehow.  Things have been this way since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in 2005 because of Johnny Depp's popularity.  My life's been ransacked since Pirates of the Caribbean came out, too.

Race

I'm being prodded for enjoying things because of my race.  I mean, I was just going to e-mail my mom.

3 Coats

I have 3 coats, now.  1 is big and white and fluffy with a snap buckle.  It's short.  Then, I got a pink coat with 2 levels of buttons.  It was $30.  I got another for $10.  It was pink with a black pattern.  This store was like a friendly juniors store.  It looked for more young girls, but I guess I got some more old-fashioned interest clothes that you could get online at some obscure store.

I was so hot yesterday at the mall with the white fluffy one from Macy's.

I guess, next year, I can get a pink jacket from Hollister for $120 or $220.  I returned a tan one about 2 years ago, and for some reason it got rumpled after I put it in the bag.  The tags were off, but they accepted it.  I did wear it outside once.  It was like $220 of my $500.

Look at white people making a fool of themselves.  They think black people can't be like them and they think they can be like Mongoloids in a sexy way.

This is a nice coat from Macy's: link.

I really want this but just found it: link.
P1

Still Tired

I just had to go to the bathroom and post my dream, maybe post something to the police...

Stop

I keep getting invasions!  My dad just apparently opened the door wide with the light bright on after I went to the bathroom.

I'm getting weird messages from watching Ellen.  She reacts to things you do that don't go because she's from Louisiana.  Is this someone impersonating her?  She keeps acting like Britney Spears but blasting it out from LA like Tim Burton.  Sometimes, there's a person relaying me messages on my computer.  She made me feel like a stone cold, sorta duped out nigger, I mean black lady, like with my eyes sorta uneven, like that's how my eyes were crossed.  Quit ruining my blog!  I changed my blog, awhile ago, when I got mad and was cursing a bit uncontrollably, not having gone to the grocery store for what I needed.  Then, I got a few more messages.

You know, I get the message from like the way things happen on my computer that Ellen just keeps taunting you like an animal thinking she's European, like most girls do, not reasoning, just saying her bare facts are right and make a better point than whatever is true for you.

This isn't the first thing I wanted on my blog about her!

Also, my parents woke up with a weird message, about how I didn't want them to touch me, because I don't.  Other people have been nice to me, though, like white ladies and now men, too.

Before the n word thing, people were much more politer and interesting.  They're like taunting me now for interacting with them.  xI

I never wanted my parents to fondle me because they're weird.  They don't treat me like I'm not that good.  I wish we just had a normal life, in a way, but they are what they are.  I hope it doesn't change.  I'm getting the hysterics of Ellen from me watching her show, that I haven't like been eating with my parents.  I haven't been much for the past few years.

Ow

My crotch hurts.  My heart was pumping a bit fast yet not heartily.

Dream

It was finally my day to perform, but I wasn't going to until 5:30 P.M. or 4:30 P.M.  It was only like 8:30 or 9:00 A.M.  I was in a small classroom with the people I'd perform for, about 4 people.  I don't know about the teacher, but she was nice.  She had left.  There were a bunch of people scattered hanging out outside.  I just came in and for some reason the door slammed and snapped loudly.  I was concerned people were hurt and asked around the room I was in.  Someone said something a little cutting that made me feel better.

Hitting the Hay

I'm hitting the hay, soon.

Check this out.

link

Chills

I'm getting chills.  :6

*Hurt!*

Do some people want you to do bad things so you get hurt?

Jealous Jewish

I realized Jews were also jealous of Africans.

Pretty European

I just realized that people without curly hair are still pretty European.
heh

Stupid Cupid

Jews are pretty stupid.

Why do you keep acting like that?

Why do you keep acting like you don't want what's best for me?

O MY GOD

*link*

Wait!

Look, I don't think anyone should be shit nor that certain people are shit.

Att-ention!

I guess that some people need attention because others do.

Well, come study my blog.  Maybe, it will give you some ideas.

Some people don't want to do some things, but you should try.

You're a pee-in!

I guess "Europeans" are making excuses, too.

Internet

What would we do without computers in this day and age?  I guess we would make journals.  With no internet, we could type our journals.

Being European

I thought being European wasn't "about" being American.

I can't!

I just can't accept that Chinese are inherently evil if they want to be European.

*shit*

I am worried.  I think my mom is mad Helena Bonham Carter would listen to a piece of shit!

Heart Pills

Yes, I take them every day.  Along with a complete supply of other pills I feel I need to take now.  They made my heart feel more solid and less like there was a vein sticking out of it, though now I feel a bunch of veins.  It made it stop feeling sorta cut into.  Not sliced into but like I dunno something sorta glowing and fuzzy like meshed in it.  Not that it's glowing nor fuzzy.

I also started drinking tea, all day, when my parents aren't using the house.

Oh, and my dad's dad died long before I was born from a heart attack.  He has relatives in Cleveland.  Also, he was a mortician, owned and ran and directed a funeral home, with a Bachelor's degree.  He cut up the bodies, though I don't know details.  I thought he cremated people, but I heard later he didn't.  Also, it's interesting, my dad's youngest sister ran away from home.  She's born in April 1960.  She seems to be the most typical person of her age, though I don't know how stereotypical.  Or whatever whyever I just thought to type just that.  He died that year, when she was 14.  She got money for college yet didn't go, while my dad's sister born in 1953 had to work and got a Master's and became a police and is now retired without kids.  She lived with someone and then married him.  He already had kids, who were half Spanish, though the boy has white hair and light brown eyes.  My cousin has light brown eyes and light brown hair and her dad's last name is Italian, though she wasn't supposed to ever meet him.  His last name is Sicero like Sicily.  My aunts both have Barrett as their last name.  My mom's sister's kids are half Indonesian.

ALERT

Something else important.

I threw up and my heart almost exploded when I tried to clean it up.

Also, when I was at my dad last weekend, after that my heart kept pumping quickly and I had to keep moving around.  (It was better after I went to bed this one time.)

Bathroom!  #2 soon.  Is that from throwing up?

Affection

I don't know why, but kids don't hurt my feelings and I don't think they intend to.  They think I'm a good person, a good, old soul, like.  I know my brother affected me, but I don't want to affect people, in a bad way.

It's my understanding things are okay as long as I don't shock kids.

My legs hurt.

I guess they did. I didn't really mean anything.

I didn't really mean any bad ideas to come up, but I guess they did.

More Steam

I'm highly offended because I was being cute and out-of-the-box.

So Out-of-the-Box

I guess Jews and Southerners are sinners.  They think so out-of-the-box.

Out-of-Control

I simply didn't do it.  I've drawn a blank.  I just don't think that way.  I can't.  I don't want to.

I do want to figure it out.

It seems that your world was torn down, shredded to pieces, and like turned to stone|shit.  It's not my fault, so don't think you have some right over me from the past.

Simply, it was something I couldn't control.

Aftermath

I was thinking of the people who's lives I affected or rather my parents and others involved, like through the wind, meaning caught the drift, so-to-speak.

I lived in the New Orleans area.  I was wondering what happened to Ellen DeGeneres.  She seemed okay after awhile, but after awhile she changed.

After Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, things were nice, but then they stopped.

I know my mom's way is to be nice to me and then punish me more later.  My life cycles.

I'm glad I found my notebook and understood it more and more neatly.

I don't want to understand that my mom and friends managed to hypnotize the world to be hysterical for not getting attention.

Forgive and Forget

A devilish grin came to my mind when I thought of how my mom made me lose my talent after I was 11 and how I would get back at her, though I don't want to and am trying to make myself not and I don't really feel like it.

I wouldn't do the same thing to my parents that they did to me nor in thinking of the people who were mean to me in public.

With my dad, it seems he put me through like 16 years of staying up late with homework and stuff, never a night's sleep.

Letting It Out

Awhile back, I couldn't pee as much after awhile.  I just let like a hot stream of pee out at the end, like pouring tea.  I don't know why that would come off as shit, but I mean it in the best possible way.  It's hard to recall what that means, was it like blood pouring out of my butt, not exactly.

Impoov-ment

I'm #2-ing better.

Lifestyle

I don't know, but my female thing hurts a lot.  I mean it did growing up.  It shouldn't, but I had problems with my lifestyle.

The Pain!

So, females who don't have kids will always want me to feel sorry for them?

Like it says on my website, I ended up taking psychiatric pills I didn't need for 1 - 2 years, which made me lose my female thing for over a year and gave me a small tumor that desisted.

When I came home from college, my female thing was so heavy I had to wear a lot of adult diapers, and it didn't hurt!  It felt so good!

My Female Thing

The funny thing is my female thing is ending and was pretty light, though it didn't slow up so much at the end.

I threw up this morning.

ALERT - no need to panic

I'm getting flashes of pain in my uterus.

My Mom's Cooking

Her food was devilishly tasty, but it wasn't custard for dessert, cheese on a casserole, not that we ever ate any of that, maybe custard, whatever that is.  =}  I'm sure I'd take to it, as anyone does to food, I presume, immediately, though I suppose, some people let it seep in and are more European and civil.

She hasn't made mashed potatos, in awhile.  I always hated when it was time to peel them.

She made the most tasty broccoli I've ever tasted.  I spoke about it in school.  It would make people look at me like I was their enemy, and that really gets to me.  Come on!  She puts like a lot of peppery spice on her food and like steam, though it isn't see-through and is very crisp yet unburned.  She hasn't made broccoli, in awhile.

Pretty much, we had some sort of chicken with white rice maybe 3 times a week.  My brother started to like lemon pepper chicken, and then we got that sometimes and later on more and it tasted bad when we moved to the New Orleans area.  It was so good in Northeastern Florida, I know where we were.  We got it where my mom worked at Albertson's as a florist, for Bubba and had a friend, a lady, in meat, who went to the navy.

Other things include hamburgers that are pretty good, sometimes dry, thick, not the grill type, at all, not as healthy maybe as the ones I had later.

We had Sloppy Joe's a lot, another thing people would think I'm nasty for.

Lasagna, which wasn't very fancy nor like friendly yet hearty, in many ways.

When we were in Northeastern Florida the 2nd time, homemade pizza, which was like the best thing I think I ever tasted.  I had it for my birthday all those years.

Spaghetti.  Pepper steak.  Sometimes the rare beef and noodles.

So, when we moved, the food got bad.  We had less Sloppy Joe's.  We've had some good tacos.  It was a lot of pepper steak, bad lemon pepper chicken, peeling potatos, sometimes baked potatos which I don't eat.  I dunno, worse rice and chicken.  We ate out more when I was in my last years of high school.

My dad did always boast my mom's cooking and that it wasn't scanty enough, so I'm not gonna even bother reasoning with his yearnings for the mistakes of his past and his mom's cooking he seems to complain about honestly.  I like her food, but I guess I eat other things, like I used to make quite a bit of pasta, for instance, and Hot Pockets and Pizza Lunchables.  So, what does that mean?  Sometimes, I'm pretty healthy.  Sometimes hearty.  I change.  Well, the food up there is pretty shitty, in a way, but there's good bread and good parties but I can't say the same for the pizza I've eaten there.

I have had a lot of white bread, and now I eat a lot of wheat bread.  I am getting diabetes.  I mean, I just had bread with spaghetti.  So, I dunno.  1 sandwhich per day.  I had some other things, too, I remember little egg rolls as a preteen and young teenager when we moved.

Well, I've had some pretty good candy, when I was younger.

A Chinese Mom

How could I be perfect around my mom if she's Chinese?  }=