Bothered

Different things are bothering me now.  I'm feeling kinda weighted, groggy, and simply not cool enough.  It's not really toasty to me, neither.  It's too like humid yet dry and stuffy, hot, dry, stuffy, and thick yet not substantial.

Well, I know I'm upset people think just because I mess up that my life is supposed to totally change.  I know people have been slighty with me and don't seem to suffer for it, don't really get treated how I get treated.

I don't remember, but I had something important to say about my dad.  I know I'm worried he'll barge in and do something, somehow.

Oh yea, I'm mad that around him I keep constantly getting these messages.  I really don't get his problem.  This simply is not allowed.  I know it's because I'm half Chinese.

Also, I really get screwed up about Americans screwing up people in Europe or England, in particular.  Why do they say that they have a base culture over them?  That seems entirely untrue, unless Americans are old-fashioned, I just realized.  How interesting.  I wish I could think of more things like that, but I guess my life has been ruined.  Not sure what to do.  I feel stuffy and stuff and like I'm gonna die and cease to exist, for some reason.  I used to feel I could live forever.

Also, I didn't go to the bathroom the 3rd or 2nd time I woke up, and now I feel kinda like a balloon.